Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
