Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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