so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
