Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
