I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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