He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
