U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
