And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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