Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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