pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
