Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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