i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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