You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
