So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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