If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
