I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Drake has all the answers
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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