i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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