did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
