Soap is not a condiment
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
