so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
