and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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