Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
