Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
