haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
