JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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