Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
