bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
