he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
