I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
