i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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