Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
