can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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