I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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