Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
