Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
