i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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