y did u give ur computer a hand job?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
