I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he was CRYING into my vagina
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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