hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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