woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
