he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
