So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
