I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
