I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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