You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
