she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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