i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
