captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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