The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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