dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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