All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
